High school is a time in everyone’s life that is often full of confusion; a time where finding yourself seems nearly impossible. Due to the constant pressure to fit in and follow the crowd, teens often find themselves being someone they are not — subconsciously causing them to sacrifice their own beliefs and relationships, to fit in the category of “perfect and popular.”

We all may know a student in school, the one that everyone loves, who strives to be perfect. They could be anyone you deem as “popular.” Or they could simply be the person everyone else is afraid to stand up to. But underneath the facade of being “superior,” is someone who isn’t genuine.

Popularity is more complicated than it seems. There can be a good side to popularity, but also a bad one. According to an article by the American Psychological Association titled, “Speaking of Psychology: Why Popularity Matters,” by contributor Mitch Prinstein, there are two kinds of popularity. There is a kind of popularity referred to as likability, which is relationship-based. This is based on how you make others feel around you, and how you take care of your personal relationships. 

Prinstein, throughout this article, speaks on how those who consider themselves “popular,” reach this high status by possibly being aggressive toward others. To get to the top of the totem pole, they can’t always be kind. They follow the crowd, and along the way put down others for their interests, relationships or looks. Someone who is “high in likeability,” does not possess such toxic characteristics. Instead of following society’s expectations, and simply trying to fit into the crowd, they’re genuine and true to their own morals and values. This allows them to have deeper relationships, while not straying away from being themselves. 

“It is a lot better to have people you can confide in and trust, than it is to have 1 million friends that don’t know you that well. Quality over quantity. It’s also important to feel secure in a friendship and not always have to wonder if they truly like you,” Schuyler Riese (12) said. 

Riese, throughout high school, has struggled opening up and trusting some peers due to gossip or different interests. But through her experiences with trying to find her place, she has come to realize that being “popular” isn’t all that it’s made out to be.

“I like being around people and I am a social person. But being caught up in everything that comes with being popular, being updated with some people’s lives for example, is something that I am glad I am not a part of,” Riese said.

In high school, the popular kids are often the most influential and well-known by everyone. According to a MindShift Article titled, “Being popular: Why it consumes teens and continues to affect adults,” by contributor Deborah Farmer Kris, teens believe that being at the top of the food chain will allow them to feel more self-worth and acceptance. They tend to focus more on their reputation, in hopes of being seen as superior to their peers. But rising to the top has its downfalls. In reality, these are often the people who are actually most disliked by their peers, and lack quality friendships and relationships.

“If you make one wrong move or do something people don’t agree with, you [fall] down the social ladder, in a sense,” Riese said.

What we do know about popularity is how much it affects teenage years when it comes to defining one’s personal identity. According to a Vice article titled, “The Scientific Reason you were so Desperate to Fit in as a Teen,” by contributor Elfy Scott, the teenage brain is obsessed with what others are thinking. When teens are trying to please everyone else, while also establishing themselves, it leads to a challenging time. They are pressured into wanting to fit in and run with the crowd, but sacrifice the hopes of finding themselves along the way.

“I always try to keep in mind that their opinion or judgement doesn’t define me as a person. I always try to focus on improving myself in whatever ways I feel possible. Then, I just let everything else fall into place,” Riese said.

Many students at Lincoln Southeast have found a way to stray away from society’s norms and harsh standards. Throughout the four years students spend in high school, they all change — not necessarily for popularity, but for their own personal growth. 

“I have always stuck to the things I am passionate about. For me, that includes fitness, eating healthy, putting myself in the best condition and mindset possible. I also play soccer, and that’s personally something that not only keeps me motivated, but also gives me a sense of belonging. It’s important to be secure with yourself and who you are before establishing strong relationships,” Riese said.

You’ll never be happy living how others want you to. So maybe, just maybe, being status-obsessed isn’t all it’s made out to be. In the end, what really matters is who you are as a person. What makes you, you.

 “Know your worth. You attract the energy you put out. Chances are it’s not going to matter how popular you are in a couple of years. Stick to your values, seek true friends, engage in the activities that you are passionate about. Don’t let peer pressure or anyone else’s judgements define who you are. Everyone messes up, and your mistakes don’t define you. How you treat others, does,” Riese said.