Numerous weeks of voluntary torture, but at what cost? Chemotherapy seems like a painful and never ending treatment, but it often results in the halt of cancerous cell division. Ethan Van Winkle went through 18 weeks of chemotherapy, enduring shots and taking many naps. But on the days he felt even a little normal, he found himself building LEGO sets to document the stages of his treatment.
Van Winkle says that after the first week of chemo and two following weeks of recovery, the chemo drug was increased by 20% each time he went back. This caused fatigue in a way he’d never experienced before, and put Van Winkle in a dangerous position where even contracting a cold could become deadly. After weeks of the same thing, routine was expected. A shot every Saturday, swelling from Monday to Wednesday and so on. Van Winkle says that during recovery weeks was the only time he could get things done.
“I would build my LEGOs during the recovery weeks. I would start the hard part of the LEGO sets, like setting up the base and foundation so that when I get to the recovery weeks I could pick up from there and go.”
Van Winkle says he selected the LEGO sets he built purely by interest only. The sets he’s built consist of the LEGO galaxy, “Lord of the Rings” tower and the Avengers tower. Van Winkle says that none of these sets held any outstanding meaning, except the third treatment set he did, Charmander. Van Winkle chose this set to represent his third treatment because it marked the halfway point of his chemo, as he had already been thorough nine weeks of his treatment.
“The rest of them were just something to do, to pass the time. But that one [Charmander] meant something really special to me.”
Van Winkle talks about how his childhood experience of Charmander connected to his adult self, comparing himself to the Pokémon. He remembers vividly seeing a cartoon of Charmander sitting on a rock, waiting for its trainer to return. A rainstorm starts to come in, and Char
mander covers its tail so its flame doesn’t go out, otherwise it will die.
“I connected with that experience because it felt like I was forced into a situation that I didn’t have control over. The rain was the concept of all this chemo, everything happening, and I’m trying to protect myself from not dying,” Van Winkle said.
Van Winkle says it was definitely an adjustment coming back to school, but that some things are just the same as he left them. He says one of the biggest things is his patience level.
“I just dealt with cancer and could have died in the span of a year, and now having someone communicate to me that they’re annoyed about the homework. It just isn’t the same.”
Although there are some downsides to coming back, Van Winkle says that he just enjoys seeing students and colleagues that he missed out on seeing for months. Ironically, the only people he saw consistently were the hospital staff. Van Winkle could recognize their voices from afar, and would greet them when he routinely came back to the hospital.
He learned many things from the hardships he endured during his treatment, learning more about the curriculum he himself teaches. Van Winkle says that his experience taught him not to be afraid to ask questions, and to advocate for himself and his treatment. Although he isn’t in remission yet, his sixth and last LEGO set is just waiting to be finished after hearing those words.
“I now understand the medical field a lot more than I ever have. My nurse did not know how to do dimensional analysis regarding one of my treatments, and, well, I teach that to ninth graders. I hear students all the time tell me, ‘Why do I need to know this?’ Because that nurse that’s putting a life-saving drug in me didn’t know how.”
