My uncle used to invite me to watch movies on cable with him. I would accidentally ruffle the sheets of his bed but unlike usual, he wouldn’t care much. He’d just sit in his chair and laugh loudly at every joke of the movie. My uncle bowls for a team that doesn’t push competition, but he always comes home saying that he’d won with the largest smile on his face; it didn’t matter how good or bad he did. My uncle loves to stand in the entrance of our church and greet everybody. He will make conversation with anyone and about anything. Every Christmas, my uncle starts a wrapping paper snowball fight. I’d consider it the highlight of the night. My uncle is a beaming light of joy. So, I couldn’t imagine anyone calling him mean names. I can’t imagine anyone bullying him or putting him down, just for having Down syndrome and yet, here we are.
Everyday, derogatory terms for people with intellectual disabilities are thrown around like they mean nothing. Specifically, I tend to hear the “R-word” used a lot around school. This refers to the word “retard” which comes from the term “mental retardation,” which used to be the politically correct term to describe people with intellectual disabilities. However, in October 2010, former president Barack Obama signed legislation called Rosa’s Law. This law replaced the terms “mental retardation” and “mentally retarded” in federal laws to “intellectual disability” and “individual with an intellectual disability”. If the president of the United States saw this as something important enough to put it into laws 15 years ago, why are people still using this derogatory language?
Well, some students may think that it doesn’t matter. They aren’t saying it to somebody with an intellectual disability, so what’s the harm? Part of the matter is that the “R-word” is commonly used in conversation describing something undesirable or stupid.
An example I tend to hear a lot at school is students calling a school assignment the “R-word”. In this case, the “R-word” is used to describe something they think is unnecessary, dumb or generally disliked. Another way I often hear the “R-word” being used is to describe somebody who the speaker thinks is stupid or who did something deemed idiotic. In both these situations, the “R-word” is being attributed to something negative. The history of this word, which connects the “R-word” to individuals with intellectual disabilities, creates a link between the two. Think of it this way: if the “R-word” means stupid, but the “R-word” also means someone with an intellectual disability, then that associates people with intellectual disabilities as being stupid.
It’s obvious that calling someone stupid is an insult. It’s even worse to be calling someone who has a disability stupid. The idea of calling my uncle, who loves to dance at parties, “stupid” breaks my heart. To associate this wholesome man who finds incredible joy in talking about his birthday months in advance with anything negative seems absurd. Using the “R-word” is demeaning and can have negative effects on the mental health of people with intellectual disabilities.
The other issue with this word is its past. As previously mentioned, the “R-word” was a term that was commonly used before Rosa’s Law. Though the word was originally created for the medical field, its usage took flight in other conversations through the 1950s and 1960s. This term made sense for the time. It was a step up from terms previously used to describe individuals with intellectual disabilities. During this time, society was gaining a better perception about these individuals and they were starting to be allowed better opportunities. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows for them though, and many of these individuals faced discrimination, specifically ableism. This prevented many people with intellectual disabilities from being hired for some jobs, denied them certain accommodations and created a stigma around intellectual disabilities.
Obviously, as the times have changed, people with intellectual disabilities have been more and more accepted and have been given better opportunities. For example, my uncle has a job coach and he gets to go out with her to do activities. They go to the gym, go bowling and he even works at a coffee shop a few times every couple weeks. As you can see, there have been major changes in the treatment of individuals with intellectual disabilities since the ’50s. So, it makes the most sense to leave a term so outdated, back in the era that it makes most sense. It worked for the time, but now we have a better understanding of inclusive and more appropriate language.
To put it in perspective, if you’re a teenager, it’s likely you aren’t going around calling things “groovy” or “rad”. You don’t tend to call people “airheads” for saying something stupid and you wouldn’t call your math assignment “wack”. So why would you use the “R-word” which is outdated beyond its years?
It’s not cool, it’s not cute and it’s definitely not trendy to say the “R-word”. It’s actually quite the opposite. Those who say the “R-word” sound uneducated, immature and quite frankly, ignorant. It’s honestly embarrassing to go around using a word so disrespectful and regressive.
Maybe at this point, I can give you those who still use the word the benefit of the doubt. The “R-word” could be something so ingrained into your vocabulary that it seems impossible to eradicate it. If you know somebody that this is the case for, there are ways you can help. I can’t count the amount of times where someone has said the “R-word” and I wanted to speak up but I didn’t, thinking that I would be mocked or ridiculed for suggesting such a change of wording. If someone says the “R-word” you can say, “Hey, that word isn’t cool,” “There are better ways to say that,” “That word is really hurtful for people with intellectual disabilities” or “You sound really ignorant saying that”. You could try a combination of a few of these phrases or anything else that gets the point across that the “R-word” isn’t appropriate in casual conversation.
For those who want to take the end of the usage of the “R-word” a step further, you can get involved with Spread the Word Day. Spread the Word Day is March 5 and it’s not only a day to talk about the stop of derogatory language towards people with intellectual disabilities, but also tackles bullying and inclusive action. To learn more about each of these aspects of Spread the Word Day, you can visit Spread the Word’s website at spreadtheword.global. Additionally, on their site you can take a free pledge that essentially states that you will work to be a more inclusive person.
“By taking the pledge for Spread the Word, you are stepping into the role of a leader committed to shaping a more inclusive world. Your pledge signifies a powerful stance against derogatory language targeted at individuals with intellectual disabilities,” Spread the Word’s campaign states. “Your commitment calls for change, inspiring others to follow suit and join the collective effort to eliminate discriminatory language. Together, we can create a society where everyone is valued, celebrated, and free from the impact of harmful stereotypes.”
All in all, whether you take the pledge or not, there is much that can be done to make our community a more inclusive and safe space for those with intellectual disabilities. It starts with a few vocabulary changes and a few moments of bravery to speak up. Taking the “R-word” out of your daily vocabulary makes a huge difference for individuals with intellectual disabilities, like my uncle. My uncle, who gives the biggest hugs you could ever imagine, would never do anything to put anyone down, so pass the love on to him and to others like him by retiring the “R-word.”
