When it comes to high schoolers, many aspects of their heavily peer-influenced lives often times need to fit into the basic mold that at one point each student tries to conform to, even if the results are harmful. If they don’t live the life or have the body that a famous Instagram influencer, with four million followers, has established to be “the right one,” then some believe it will be hard for them to fit in and to become popular. At school their friends watch as they pop in an earbud to listen to that one album everyone has been talking about. They see them clad in that new top that was just recently declared “the thing,” or they notice them wearing those shoes that all the boys in their English class have. These things aren’t really who they are, but in their eyes, it’s a small price to pay for approval from their peers.
What their classmates don’t always see however, are all the days they come home after school and scroll on social media, viewing pictures of their friends’ outings in which they weren’t included, possibly causing them to feel insecure. Because, why didn’t they get invited? What their peers don’t see, are the many mornings they wake up extra early just to put on a full face of makeup, so they won’t be judged for their imperfections.
Many might wonder why teenagers tend to do these things. Is it merely human nature? People have always sought affirmation from their peers, so it’s hardly anything new. Or is it maybe for friendships, popularity and attention? Because to some students, status is everything, and to obtain that valued spot within a certain group, they must be like everyone else, and look, do and wear whatever their peers expect them to.
However, for other students, blending into the crowd and fitting the “norm” is just another means of staying away from negative attention. Many teenagers tend to linger on the shy or insecure side, and sometimes fitting in feels like the only solution to feeling exposed or judged.
LSE sophomore, Ainsley Perry, gives insight on her personal experiences and accounts of students falling victim to conformity at Southeast.
“In today’s society, everybody wants to be like everybody else,” Perry said. “[I would like to say that I] stand out, but I think that I do sort of blend in, l probably am like a lot of other people. I think it’s important though, for like some aspects [of your life to be like] other people, but also try and be your own in certain ways,”
Despite these students who give their everything to fit in, there are a handful of high schoolers who have decided to look past these standards. They aren’t afraid to show who they really are, and they don’t prohibit themselves from becoming who they want to be. Whether they express themselves through the music they listen to, the backpack they carry, the way they dye their hair, or even through their personality, standing out in the crowd is something they are willing and wanting to do. This is true, even if they face criticism because of it.
There’s no question that being a teenager in today’s world is a difficult task, with all the pressure of schoolwork, activities and friendships, but these students still find ways to put their true selves first.
Teacher, Alan Holdorf has been employed at LSE for nearly 12 years, and is also the leader of the Southeast Chess Club, and the co-leader of Hobby Club. During his involvement with these clubs, he has both noticed and admired many students who have chosen to express themselves fully and confidently, and has personally tried to provide an environment where they are able to do so.
“[When the Hobby Club assembles, it’s a very eccentric group] of interesting people who can find a safe space to hang out on Fridays,” Holdorf said. “I think a lot of the students who come in just already have friend groups in that kind of area. And so they fit in with their groups. They’re not trying to fit into other people’s ideas of who they should be.”
It is said that with age and maturity comes a new level of understanding and realization that it’s okay to be you. In reality, students probably don’t judge their friends for their personalities or for the way they express themselves. Additionally, all teenagers are essentially going through similar things, each in their own way. In middle school, kids endure changes with their bodies and their personalities. In their early high school years they experiment with many factors of their lives that make up who they are.
Maybe they go on their first date, discover how much they love science, or try playing a sport for the first time. And along their journeys of self discovery, they’re able to see what they love and find the many things that they enjoy doing. This statement is especially applicable to many high school juniors and seniors. They realize that blending into the crowd isn’t always the answer, nor the key to forging friendships and gaining popularity. Rather, they would like to be the person they have developed into and follow their own path.
Proceeding towards her final year of high school, LSE junior Sherice Lockman has gained a new outlook on trying to fit in, and believes that students shouldn’t constantly feel pressured by their peers.
“Speaking from experience, I think my freshman and sophomore years I dressed very outgoing, and I didn’t really conform to whatever, you know, was the popular style at the time. So me personally, I think that it’s important to kind of do what you want and be who you want. But I just think socially, it’s not as accepted, and it could be more accepted.” Lockman said. “[And] for upcoming high schoolers, [I would say], kind of just be who you want to be. I think now, as an approaching senior, I wish I would have done that sooner and kind of just experimented with myself instead of being influenced by others. So I think it’s advice to just be yourself.”
